Fun Boosh Quote from the Radio Show

The Hitcher: Ooh, I know a thing or two about performin', my boy! I know a thing or two about performin', I can tell ya. Ooh, long time ago now, I was in a beautiful love story, all set on the stage, and I was all dressed up as a dazzlin' young lady. And I worked extensively with a Japanese gentleman, who used to bind his head up in a cloth, but with body language alone he could still reduce the audience to weepin'. Ooh, a remarkable actor! A remarkable love story, about a man dressed up as a lady and another geezer with all fabric on his head. Oo-hoo-hoo-hoo, how the audience would laugh and whee-hee-hee-hee, how the audience would cry, and whey-hey-hey-hey, how the audience would think, I seen something there! I seen something good there, but I came here last week and it was shit last week, oh, it was useless last week! Just an old lady with big fleshy, purelent, swollen arms smacking a woodpecker across the stage with an oar! What the hell was that about? But this week, the geezer with the cloth on his head? Ooh, he was remarkable! That was a tour de force, that show! Ooh, we got thirteen encores every night! And on the last encore I'd drag him out center stage, and I'd tear off that cloth to reveal the hideous deformed face of an otter! Ooh, his head was revolting! It was like broken butcher's meat, it was like a nik-nak left out in the rain. It made me want to be sick on my own penis. But I loved that boy! I loved that boy, don't get me wrong! I loved what he could do with his acting style even when he camouflaged his own features! Ooh, why did I have to cut him off in his prime? Why did I have to leave him alone in that black ditch? It don't matter though... It's all by the by 'cause I got my box... I got my box now...